daddy – Page 2 – This Crazy Life of Mine

03
Dec
2013

Three years.

categories: Crystal Beach, Daddy, family, grief, loss, love, memories, miss you, remember, sunset

This past month, my mind has been a mess of memories, thoughts, and feelings. I feel like I am in sensory overload. Three years ago today, my dad passed away and I can still remember every day he spent in the hospital, his last month with us. I wonder if that will ever go away or if will just fade into the back of my memories.

The day that he passed away, I made myself a little note on my phone, just moments after. It seems like an odd thing to do, but it was important to me to do at the time. And now, it’s one of the few things I have left on my phone from that very moment. It simply reads….

1:53pm 12/04/10 Goodbye Daddy… I love you so much and can’t believe you’re gone. My heart is broken.

And even still, as heartbreaking as that moment was, there was no where else I ever could have been. I needed to be there, with my family, holding his hand.

I think of my dad every single day, sometimes many times a day. A song, a movie, a memory, wanting or needing to talk to him, a meal…. Or it could be my wonder in seeing my niece and nephews and knowing that he would be amazed at how much they’ve grown. It could be anything. We talked about him on Thanksgiving, laughing about what he would be doing if he were there with us, sharing memories that we as a family have of him. The holidays will never be the same without him, as hard as I try. I have our Christmas tree up and it’s beautiful. I am hoping that the spirit he enjoyed at this time of year will somehow find it’s way to me this month.

If I could sit with him just one more time and talk with him, I often wonder what I would say. I need help solving some problems and more than ever need his guidance, but that seems selfish. I could share my excitement with him about losing weight. Or how proud I am of myself for running half marathons, something he never knew I could do. I could tell him about our crazy dogs – he knew Blue, but he never got to meet Ozzie and we’re sure they would be best buddies. We could share a favorite meal and a bottle of ice cold Peroni beer, his with a straw in it, his preferred way to drink it. Or we could listen to his favorite Big Band music….

But mostly, what I think I would say to him is how very much he is missed and how his life left such an impression on this family – his family – that anyone who knew him could easily see. I would tell him how different life is without him here to guide us along. I would share with him how he is with me everywhere I go and that we watch the sunset at Crystal Beach every month in honor of him. And most of all, I would tell him how very much I love him, how very much I miss him, and how he will always be my hero.

20
Oct
2013

Jingle Bikes For Kids 2013

categories: bikes, charity, Daddy, giving, holidays, hubby, Jingle Bikes For Kids, Toys For Tots

jingle bikes fb cover EDIT 3

Last year, our hearts were touched after my post about helping for the holidays. In memory of my dad, we set out to donate bikes to children in need. My dad was the ultimate family man and he loved nothing more than taking care of his family, as well as helping a child in need. A little behind the scenes of how we came up with this wonderful idea…

About 10 years ago, my dad did something that would not shock anyone that knew him. My dad was the definition of “family man” and he loved nothing more than a happy child during the holidays. One particular Christmas, my dad was at Wal-Mart and saw Toys For Tots outside. He wanted to buy a toy and make a donation. While in the toy department, he overheard a little boy asking his parents for a bike and they said they could not get one that year. My dad, being the generous man that he was, did something wonderful. He offered to buy the bike for the parents to give to the little boy, and they accepted, very much overwhelmed by his generosity. If that doesn’t make you smile, I don’t know what will. And, that is a glimpse into the person that my dad was.

Here are my posts from last year about donating bikes…

We had a total of 12 bikes and helmets donated last year. It was a wonderful thing to deliver those bikes to the Distribution Center and know they would end up in the hands of a child who was in need.

bikes loaded

This year, we are hoping to be able to donate more bikes to Toys For Tots. It was about this time last year that my husband and I went to Wal-Mart and put two bikes and helmets on layaway. We are doing the same this year. We would love to be able to have more than 2 bikes to donate again this year.

If you are interested in donating a bike and helmet, please contact me at crazylifeofmineblog@gmail.com. We also have a Facebook page.

07
Jul
2013

Holiday weekends rock!

categories: 4th of July, Autumn, Cole, cookout, Cooper, Crystal Beach, Daddy, family, holiday, hot yoga, hubby, nephews, niece, Parkesdale Market, running, weekend, work, workout

I am in denial that the holiday weekend is over. Honestly, I spent most of yesterday stressing over the fact that today was Monday and that would mean heading back to work. Boo. BOO! I am ready to win the lottery and give up this whole having to work for a living thing.

I thoroughly enjoyed having a short week last week. I left work early on Wednesday. I had big plans for the time off, as trivial as those plans may have been for my downtime, it was still my time.

Thursday morning, hubby and I went out for a short run. I love it when he runs with me and I think he like the spending time with me part, but he does not enjoy running like I do. I can understand that. Every one is different. After our run, we went to hot yoga class. Since it was a holiday, the yoga studio was offering a free class to a guest when you paid for yours. Perfect! They just had one class and I never expected it to be packed, but it was. So much sweat. It was awesome.

I was pretty proud of our activity that morning and I had no guilt whatsoever when we went to my brother and sister-in-laws for a 4th of July cookout. Chips, salsa, hamburgers, hot dogs, chicken pasta salad, and beer. It was a fun afternoon, despite the little bit of rain we had. My other brother and his family came over so we got to see our cutie-pie nephews.

Hubby headed home after we ate, so Blue and Ozzie would not be alone during the thunderstorms AND fireworks (hubby is such a good dad!) and we headed to Crystal Beach in hopes of the weather clearing in time for a sunset and possible fireworks. Neither happened, but it was important that I was there for the 4th, in memory of my dad. My mom and I haven’t missed a 4th yet. We did have some fun time with Autumn before the rain really kicked in, so that was nice.

On Friday after my morning run, I “worked from home”. And by “work from home”, I mean I made 3 calls in the morning and one of our stops during the day was work-related. The rest was our time since hubby had the day off as well. This rarely happens where we both take time off. Workaholics don’t even begin to describe us. We bought new tires for my car (a highly irritating purchase but it worked out well), a trip to Parkesdale Market one of our favorite produce markets owned by my friend Xi and her family for fresh produce and delicious milkshakes, and then spent the afternoon at home. (Read Xi’s blog here.)

Saturday, I had my WW meeting and then ran afterwards. Hubby played paintball, and I did some cleaning and laundry. I even went to Starbucks for about an hour and enjoyed a beverage and finished the book I was reading, Safe Haven by Nicholas Sparks. I picked up my niece afterwards for a sleepover so her mom and dad could have a night out to celebrate their 10th anniversary. When we were driving to our house, she told me she wanted to spend every Saturday night at our house and that she was going to talk to Mommy and Daddy about that. I love that she feels so comfortable at our house. She walks in like she owns the place, calls the guest room “her room”, and is a big helper with Blue and Ozzie and anything else I am doing. Needless to say, we had a great time as usual. Hubby and I took her to the the mall, ate dinner, played on the playground, and had ice cream. Our night ended at home watching The Princess Bride, her choice of movie to bring with her, and playing War. Seriously, she is one cool kid.

Sunday morning we played Go Fish and went to the park. Autumn says I need to get a bike so I can ride with her when she comes over. She’s probably right, but I had fun walking and running to keep up with her too. It was great exercise. After a trip to Petco for puppy treats for Blue and Ozzie and her dog Scarlett, we took her home. Good times!

A quick trip to the grocery store and then we were home the rest of the day for some laziness. I love to be lazy.

I’m already looking forward to our next long weekend, Labor Day.

How was your holiday weekend? How did you spend your time?

03
Apr
2013

Another birthday in heaven…

categories: birthday, Crystal Beach, Daddy, family, grief, loss, love, miss you

Today, my dad would be 80 years old. This is almost hard to fathom. He was 77 when he passed, and his last year was probably the slowest and worn down I had ever seen him in my whole life. Growing up, I never thought my dad looked his age. He had a youthful appearance that I attribute to being so active and always on the go, despite that wheelchair he sat in for 55 years.

My dad was fiercely loyal and faithful. He had a silly side. He was very set in his ways and felt strongly in the things he believed in. He was the epitome of a family man and wanted nothing more than to be with his family. He was always determined to take care of us and would do everything in his power to do just that. He was strong, had an amazingly big heart, and would cry at sad movies. He was my hero.

This is the third birthday of his that we have celebrated without him. And like every other day, I will think about him, and miss him, and wish that he were still here.

He is still very much a part of our lives. We talk about him often and I am convinced that I have turned into him with his little quirks, such as constant note-taking and list-making at work. I used to tease for making notes to read his notes and when he would re-write all his notes. I do the same thing now and it makes me smile every time.

We go to Crystal Beach every single month on the 4th, and will be there tonight (please don’t rain!). It’s slightly ironic that he passed away on the 4th of December and his birthday is on the 4th. Every single month my mom and I go up there for sunset. We’ve only been rained out once. It gets more and more beautiful every month and it’s very comforting to be there, knowing how much he enjoyed it.

So today, on your 80th birthday, Daddy, I hope you have one heck of get-together up in heaven with our other loved ones. You are in good company up there. We will be thinking about you. I hope you know how much we all still miss you.

Happy birthday, Daddy…. I love you very much.

It’s impossible to pick just one photo of my dad to share today, so I picked a handful…

30
Dec
2012

Favorite posts of 2012

categories: 2012, 3 Day, Autumn, blog, blog land, CFLBlogCon, Christmas, Cole, Cooper, Daddy, Daughtry, event, family, fertility, friend, Gasparilla Distance Classic, Gretchen Powell, grief, half-marathon, happiness, happy, holidays, hubby, infertility, Jenna, loss, love, Mommy, MTG Reviews, mud run, New Years, Pretty Muddy Mud Run, race, rock 'n roll half-marathon, run, TBLB, TFTM, Thanks For The Mammories, walk, women's half-marathon

As 2012 comes to an end tonight and we welcome 2013, I am thinking about this year and all the things I accomplished. 2012 has definitely been the year of stepping outside of my comfort zone. I’ve done so many things that I normally would not do. I hope that I continue to face my fears head-on in 2013.

To finish out the year, I thought I’d do a list of my favorite posts of the year. This was really tough to narrow down and I’m probably forgetting something, but these posts meant the most to me. From completing not one but TWO half-marathons, meeting the wonderful women of Tampa Bay Lady Bloggers, my first blog conference, becoming Yelp Elite, starting Jingle Bikes For Kids, wonderful family time, along with several struggles I faced – it’s been a memorable year. I hope you enjoy this look back with me…

I love my blog and I really look forward to continuing to blog in 2013 and to see how it grows. I would like to thank each and every one of you for following and showing interest in my babbling. It helps to keep me sane.

Wishing you all a SAFE and Happy New Year!!

Tag: daddy