I’ve been running almost a month straight now – 23 days to be exact. And I feel like an idiot for ever stopping. The process of waking up in the morning, putting on my running clothes and running shoes, and hitting the sidewalk for 30+ minutes before I start my day is the best thing ever. How I lost sight of that and just let it fall off my radar is beyond me.
Running is therapy. My struggles with anxiety and depression are ever-changing and when those endorphins kick in, it is the best feeling ever. Is it hard to run? Yes – I’m running with easily 30 extra pounds right now. But in the 23 days I’ve been running every day, I feel a difference and it is empowering. I feel strong. My legs feel strong.
I’m not running far or fast. I try to run 2.5 miles every morning, but if I am short on time I get a mile in at least. My pace is turtle-ish. Is that a word? Regardless, it’s the speed of my running and that’s okay. I’m not listening to music. I’m sweating my butt off and thinking the thoughts I need to think. When I get back to my driveway I stretch and then go on about my day.
I am about to face a HUGE change when my brother and family move next week. While I’ve known for months now it was going to happen and within the last month, it was REALLY happening, I’ve been preparing myself. I hate to see them move. HATE IT. But, I can’t do anything about it so I find a way to deal with it. If running helps in this process, I’ll run every day and buy stock in running shoes if need-be.
In times like this, I usually shut down. It’s classic Nanci. I just want to curl up in a ball and hide. But I cannot do that. I have to take care of myself. And this run streak, without knowing it the day I set out to start on it, has been in preparation for next week when my world changes.
This will not be the last change I face in life. I have to remember how running gets me through things. It got me through infertility and then again when I lost my dad. And it will get me through their move. Pounding the pavement is cathartic for me. The last several years I spent running for races and time. Now it’s for myself, for my mental well-being, for keeping myself sane.
Running is therapy for me. How about you?