This past month, my mind has been a mess of memories, thoughts, and feelings. I feel like I am in sensory overload. Three years ago today, my dad passed away and I can still remember every day he spent in the hospital, his last month with us. I wonder if that will ever go away or if will just fade into the back of my memories.
The day that he passed away, I made myself a little note on my phone, just moments after. It seems like an odd thing to do, but it was important to me to do at the time. And now, it’s one of the few things I have left on my phone from that very moment. It simply reads….
1:53pm 12/04/10 Goodbye Daddy… I love you so much and can’t believe you’re gone. My heart is broken.
And even still, as heartbreaking as that moment was, there was no where else I ever could have been. I needed to be there, with my family, holding his hand.
I think of my dad every single day, sometimes many times a day. A song, a movie, a memory, wanting or needing to talk to him, a meal…. Or it could be my wonder in seeing my niece and nephews and knowing that he would be amazed at how much they’ve grown. It could be anything. We talked about him on Thanksgiving, laughing about what he would be doing if he were there with us, sharing memories that we as a family have of him. The holidays will never be the same without him, as hard as I try. I have our Christmas tree up and it’s beautiful. I am hoping that the spirit he enjoyed at this time of year will somehow find it’s way to me this month.
If I could sit with him just one more time and talk with him, I often wonder what I would say. I need help solving some problems and more than ever need his guidance, but that seems selfish. I could share my excitement with him about losing weight. Or how proud I am of myself for running half marathons, something he never knew I could do. I could tell him about our crazy dogs – he knew Blue, but he never got to meet Ozzie and we’re sure they would be best buddies. We could share a favorite meal and a bottle of ice cold Peroni beer, his with a straw in it, his preferred way to drink it. Or we could listen to his favorite Big Band music….
But mostly, what I think I would say to him is how very much he is missed and how his life left such an impression on this family – his family – that anyone who knew him could easily see. I would tell him how different life is without him here to guide us along. I would share with him how he is with me everywhere I go and that we watch the sunset at Crystal Beach every month in honor of him. And most of all, I would tell him how very much I love him, how very much I miss him, and how he will always be my hero.
If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!
1. Where were you born? Did you grow up there? I was born in Long Beach, California and lived there till I was 3. I’ve lived in California, Texas, Maryland, and Florida. And an interesting fact, I’ve lived in each state twice.
2. Tell us about your favorite spot in your city. Living in Clearwater, FL, I am a sucker for the beach – palm trees, water, sunrises, and sunsets. However, the only time I get to the beach is when I’m running the causeway very early on a Sunday morning, or on the 4th of the month when my mom and I go to Crystal Beach for sunset in memory of my dad. Tell me this isn’t a breathtaking sunset…
3. Do you volunteer for any organizations? If so, will you tell us about it? Hubby and I very much like to help out and wish that we had the time and money to do more. We’ve volunteered for Habitat For Humanity through his work, we collected and donated bikes to Toys For Tots last holiday season, and we were just approved as a “big couple” for Big Brothers Big Sisters.
4. Tell us about your favorite local restaurant. I’ll probably get some laughs out of this one, but we love Hooters, and the original one is not far from us. I am absolutely a beer and wings girl and they are our favorite. There is also a little BBQ restaurant about 20 minutes north of us called The Ozona Pig (which we lovingly call The Pig). The pulled pork is AMAZING.
5. Has your city ever experienced tragedy? If so, how did it recover? . I’ve been here 20 years and we’ve seen our share of storms, and one year we had 4 or 5 hurricanes.
6. Share at least one unique thing about your neighborhood. When we bought our house in 1993, we were told they were going to put a county park adjacent to our street corner on what had to have been the largest empty lot still in our county. Finally, the park opened in 2010 and we love it. It’s so nice to have a park within walking distance of our house.
7. If you could do one small thing to change your community, what would you do? Trying hard to stay away from politics, but being a small business owner myself, I think it would be nice if Clearwater were a little more business-friendly.
8. The Powerball is currently up to 400 million dollars. Would you move to a different place if you won? Hubby and I both moved around a lot when we were younger, so when we bought our house, we knew we would be here for the long haul. If we won the Powerball (please, oh please, let us win!!) we would fix up our house the way we’ve wanted to since we bought it and pay it off. We’d be set!
Now it’s your turn to answer this week’s questions! Don’t forget to come back and link up in the comments! Happy Monday!
We had more fun yesterday, with dinner at a family favorite, The Ozona Pig, which my niece calls The Pig. It was great evening, we sat outside at dinner and enjoyed the breeze, the food, and ice cold beer. I love family dinners, and this week has been extra special with my Aunt Darlene here.
After our delicious meal, we headed north a few minutes to our beloved Crystal Beach. It was cloudy and overcast when we arrived but the sun kept peeking out of the clouds during sunset. Autumn and I had a fun time playing in the water (chilly!), finding shells and rocks, and running along the sand. Autumn always makes me laugh… She fell in the water at one point and then took off running towards the steps yelling “Um, I have a problem!!!”. That kid cracks me up.
Our evening ended perfectly with a trip to Cold Stone for ice cream. I haven’t had Cold Stone in quite awhile and it was GOOD!! Hubby and I shared a Cake n’ Shake milkshake. Oh heavenly sweetness in a cup. Cutie pie Autumn had a cotton candy milkshake that was almost as big as she was!
Do you have a family favorite restaurant that you go to? What do you do for fun when you have family in town?
Yesterday was a stellar day. It started out with the super early Weight Watchers meeting, 6:45am to be exact. I’m up anyway, so I like going early. I was so excited to go because it was with Beverly, the leader who’s meeting was the very first one I went to back in 2006 and she saw me through losing weight and making lifetime. She wasn’t there last Saturday, so I had to wait till today. It was so good to see her and she has not changed a bit. She has the most amazing energy I have ever known in someone.
And as exciting as seeing Beverly? Seeing the scale go down again for the second week in a row! Another 2.6 pounds gone – hopefully never to be seen again. I really stayed on point this week, eating fruits and veggies with each meal and snack.
I’m so happy with my progress and the willpower I have found. I truly believe you have to be in the right mindset to lose weight. If you are not prepared to give it your all and fight for results, than you are only fooling yourself. I am giving it my all, and it is paying off. Here are my stats, which I will post weekly, whether a loss or gain, as another way to keep me accountable.
After my meeting, a yummy breakfast at Village Inn, some errands, putting the Christmas tree away, cleaning, and then dinner (holy busy day!), it was time to head to downtown St. Petersburg for my first 5K of the year. And bonus, hubby was doing this one with me! I was pretty excited to get ready to go, especially since this was my first night race.
We knew from all the people we saw that it was going to be a busy race. Everyone was dressed in different degrees of bright fluorescent neon color and more. There were wigs and costumes and tutus. It was going to be a fun time!
We put our glow necklaces and glasses on. My glasses were weird, the arms were too short so they kept falling down my face. But we got the obligatory pictures with them on.
I have to say that downtown St. Pete has become one of my favorite places over the last year. The waterfront is beautiful with a nice breeze. I can’t believe I didn’t get a picture of it last night. But I did get this wonderful shot of the sunset.
Once the sun went down and everyone started glowing, the crowd was all pumped up and ready to go for the 6:30 start time. We met up with Steph from Kitchen Kilometers and her love. I have to laugh at the picture of us… Look at my glow stick glasses. They were just not made for me to wear. I look like Scuba Steve, right?
The darker it got before the race started, the more fun it was to take photos of our glowing selves. How can you not have fun with glow sticks? I highly recommend a race with glow sticks. We even saw a guy dressed as Hulk Hogan and he sounded like him.
And then we were off! Even though this was not a timed race, I had my Garmin on me just to see how I did. We walked and ran. The run through downtown St. Pete was pretty cool. Everyone was having such a fun time and it was cool to see the blur of glow sticks as people ran by. I tried to get a picture when we were close to the turnaround and it came out blurry, but you get the idea.
We crossed the finish line at 44:16 and were given our medals. At this point, the crowd was CRAZY. There was music playing and everyone was glowing. We guzzled out water down and took some more pictures because you can never have too many pictures of yourself with glow sticks on.
All in all, it was a fun night. I would definitely do another night race. Hubby had a great time too and did a great job. I was running to keep up with him! First race of 2013 is in the books! #10in2013
Have you ever done a night race? Are you doing the Glow Run 5K in a city near you this year?
Two years ago today, at 1:53pm, we said goodbye to Daddy. There isn’t a day that passes that I don’t think of him and wish he were still here with us.
After four weeks in the hospital, the last two in ICU, we had to make a very difficult decision to let him go. While it was very hard to so, I still believe it was the right decision. How quickly he passed was proof of that.
Two weeks after his passing, I made a memory book that I still look at often. I took all the beach photos in it – this is the true meaning of the sunset pictures I post every month on the 4th. I thought today would be a good day to share it again. For my dear family and friends, this will be a reminder of those special days. For those of you who didn’t know him, this is a small glimpse into the love that my family had for the most amazing man and father ever.
Today we will go to Crystal Beach for sunset and to Ozona Pig for dinner, just as we did the day he passed away. These were two of his favorite places to go and it is just one of the many ways I keep his memory alive.
I love you Daddy, and I miss you always. You are my hero, my guardian angel, always just a thought away…