I usually try to keep things very upbeat on my blog, but today I am just going to spit all this out for fear that if I don’t, it will explode. That just wouldn’t be pretty, would it? Here goes…
I want… To not be stressed. I stress about everything. It can’t be good for me, right?
I want… To be able to take a real vacation with hubby. Just the two of us. For more than one day. (note to self: buy winning lottery ticket tonight)
I want… For it to be fall. Seriously, I’m done with this awful heat and humidity.
I want… To enjoy the beaches that we live so close too. Other than my Sunday morning run over the causeway bridge, the closest I’ve gotten to the beach was a survey I did for work the other day . It looked so awesome. I want to feel the sand between my toes. How sad is it that we live 7 minutes from the beach and never go?
I want… To live in a drama-free world. Drama is not necessary and doesn’t get anyone anywhere.
I want… To not have to work quite so hard, maybe just for a little bit. It’s not in my genes to NOT work, but it sure would be nice to just sit back and not worry about how everything will get done for a bit.
I want… To sleep a full 8 hours. Please, Blue and Ozzie, can you maybe just let that happen every once in awhile? Mommy loves you, but she needs her sleep.
I want… To find the off-switch for my brain. It does not need to always be on, especially at night.
I want… To not worry. I worry about everything. Somehow things still work out, but the energy I exert worrying is exhausting.
I want… To feel like all the hard work we are doing will pay off one day. And I’m talking work, not weight loss. We bust our butts at work, please tell me one day we will reap the rewards of it.
I want… To wake up in the morning without anxiety. I had anxiety a several years ago and finally got it under control. I feel like it’s slowly creeping back in… I know stress brings it on, so I need to control that stress to get rid of the anxiety. The thought of anxiety makes me more anxious.
That’s better… Seriously, I’m not sure why everything has to seem so hard sometimes. This is why I so strongly focus on myself when I’m not working. I NEED to run, otherwise it’s likely I would need an anti-depressant. I NEED to take care of myself. I NEED to do things that I enjoy on my off-time. I NEED to not be negative because that won’t get me anywhere.
Thank you for listening to my rambling… What would you like to get off your chest today? I am all ears since you listened to me!
Because I am human, I have been eating AWFUL this week. Just awful. No one forced me to eat the things I have… I chose to. No one twisted my arm to do so… I chose to. And now I have to own it.
Six months into the year of weight loss and this week I have reverted back to my old eating habits this week. I have not prepared this week, and I have been slacking on the snacking.
I *know* what I need to do, and I need to do it. Stress cannot lead me to eat so bad. I should NOT go through a drive-thru just because I am stressed. That is what the old me did. The new me cannot do that.
Because I am human, I will pick up from here – today – and move forward. I know what I need to do to be successful. Twenty pounds down does not mean I can eat what I want all the time. I will splurge on occasion and live my life. I will go to a baseball game and enjoy what I want. Or out to dinner and indulge in a treat. But I do not need to eat so carelessly for lunch several days a week when I am stressed and when things aren’t going right. Eating French fries will not solve problems.
I have also not tracked in two days. TWO DAYS. There goes my June #goalgetter2013 goal. I need to snap out of this and fast. Again, not tracking will not solve problems. They are still there regardless. Today, I will get back to tracking. Today is a new day.
Because I am human, this will be a lesson. I know I am stronger than this. I know what I need to do and I can do it. I have to do it. I’ve come to far and I still have a ways to go. I cannot fail. I will not fail.
Are you an emotional eater? What sets you off on eating? How do you snap out of it?