Archive for August, 2011
Good grief, Charlie Brown. Has it really been over a week, almost 2 actually, since I last updated my blog? I’ve meant to update it several times but for some reason I have not. Chalk it off to the funkiness I have been in, I guess.
My last post was about evil bloated woman where I gained 3.4 pounds. &^%#%@ Yea, 3.4 lbs.. Mind you, no one forced the food down my throat or twisted my arm to eat whatever bad foods I ate that I probably should not have. But when evil bloated woman is here, I have NO self control. NONE. Really, I don’t.
Moving past the 3.4 lb. gain, the next day I walked 13 miles with my fabulous sister-in-law. Have I mentioned how much I enjoy those walks? The high that I feel when done with that kind of walk should keep me going for a great start to the week leading up to the next weigh-in. But not last week. I didn’t walk the Sunday after. And not that Monday. I did do a strength training work out (which, by the way, I felt for days). On Tuesday I walked 3.11 miles. I wanted to run, but my legs
could not would not do it. Regardless, I walked it and got it done. On Wednesday, I did nothing. Nada. Same on Thursday. Thursday is normally a no workout day anyhow, but the guilt was there since I skipped the day before. When I walked into WW on Friday, I had no idea what the scale would say. Whatever it said, though, I would have to own it. I am the one who decided to not workout when I could have, or to eat whatever it was I should not have. Amazingly, I was down 1 pound. Honestly, I think the pound I lost was the fact that evil bloated woman was finally gone, at least until she rears her ugly head again in a few weeks.
That 1.0 lb. loss gave me a little jump start,. I was happy. I was even happier when my sister-in-law and I walked 14 miles on Saturday. That is nothing to sneeze at, my friends. It was a HARD walk this week. It was hot and humid and when we were done, my feet (especially my right foot) was screaming at me. My SIL had to stop at mile 12 due to blisters on her feet. It was brutal. But we gave it our best. I burned ALOT of calories, 1239 calories to be exact. Again, this should have kept me going into this week.
Where did this funk come from? Why I am so blah this past week and not really caring about what food choices I make? It’s irritating, and to be quite honest, scary. I don’t want to give up, I don’t want to quit, but I feel like something else is controlling me.
I got home yesterday and should have walked. It was raining so I didn’t. I should have gone on the treadmill, but I didn’t. I got home today, no rain, a little bit of a breeze – I should have walked. But I didn’t. WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME??
Someone needs to give me a virtual slap or something. I don’t know what needs to happen, but I have got to snap out of this funkiness. I don’t want to be tired and blah and just whatever. I don’t. I want to be that girl who comes home, changes quickly, and runs out the front door and knocks out 3.11 miles as quickly as I can. I want to walk back in the house, dripping with sweat, and post what I did, and enjoy the rest of my evening knowing I busted my butt.
If anyone can help me find that girl that does those things, I’ll be eternally grateful. I’m really not sure where she is this week. I need her.
I am skipping my usual BYOC post this week to talk about a different topic. That being weight gain. My usual light-hearted, entertaining, information packed post will be replaced with something far less fun, but something I want to talk about.
This week has been a weird one. I walked this past Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. I didn’t only walk, I ran. I kicked butt and sweat like there was no tomorrow. Then came Tuesday and I was tired. I was achy. My legs hurt. And I was grouchy. At some point that day, evil bloated woman took over my body and I had no say in it. I chose not to run that day, hell I didn’t even want to walk. And it didn’t take much convincing of myself to not go out. Instead, I did some cleaning when I got home. And I didn’t miss the running. I attributed this to the arrival of evil bloated woman. I am over losing control of my body for a few days each month but whatever. Being a girl sucks. Did I mention that I had a couple of adult beverages as well?
Then comes Wednesday and I started the day thinking I would make up for the day before. WRONG. My eating that day was awful. I was on carb overload, consuming everything that is bad for me like there is no tomorrow. I knew it was wrong but I didn’t care. Or evil bloated woman didn’t care. The line can be very blurred at times. When I got home Wednesday afternoon, I knew I would not be running or walking. Nope, it wasn’t going to happen.
This is what I started to feel guilty, but knew that no matter how much guilt I felt, I had no control over the situation. I was bloated and hungry and grouchy and as much as I wanted to not care about being good and getting out there, I really didn’t.
Yesterday being a non-workout day for me, I took advantage of it and did just that. I didn’t work out. Why would I? I was still grouchy and bloated and being held hostage by evil bloated woman. There was more eating foods that I shouldn’t be eating, at least in the quantities I was eating them.
When I got up this morning, I dreaded getting on the scale at WW. For a minute, evil bloated woman tried to convince me NOT to go. But alas, I knew I would go. I had to go, I had to be accountable, no matter how bad it might be. The only thing is, I didn’t realize it would be quite so bad.
I got on the scale this morning to see a 3.4 lb. weight gain. I gained exactly the amount of weight that I worked my butt off to lose the two weeks prior. I joked about evil bloated woman when I got off the scale and while I know she played a part in it, I knew that somehow I have to find a way to not let her control me like that and send me into a downward spiral.
I know I will lose that 3.4 pounds, I don’t doubt that. I just worry that it’ll take me two 2+ weeks to do it and then before I know it, evil bloated woman will be back again trying to trick me into her evil ways again. I have to find a way to keep her from controlling me.
Tomorrow morning I will be walking 13 miles with my sister-in-law for her training for the 3 Day walk. This will be a great start to the new week. I cannot let this get me down, I have to pick myself up and get right back to it. Evil bloated woman be damned.
Today I had the perfect excuse to not do my walk/run. It has been raining off and on all day. A consistent, wet rain that lets up for a little bit and then it’s pouring again. Add in some lightning and thunder for effect, and that’s how the whole day has been. And all I could think about was, this is going to screw up my walk.
But, I have a treadmill. I’ve had it for almost 8 years and I used to use it all the time. It used to be my favorite thing to do. I don’t know why. The last couple of years, it’s not been used nearly as much as in the past. But it serves a purpose and today was that exact purpose. When it was clear that the weather was going to keep inside, I knew I was lucky to have my treadmill as a backup.
After spending so much time walking/running outside, the treadmill is very different. My pace seems different and the time may as well be doubled. You know, like dog years vs. people years? An hour outside may as well be two hours on the treadmill. Why is that?
My time on the treadmill today did not have the full effect as if I had been outside, but the important thing is I did it. Not only did I do it, but I ran longer than I have outside as I posted on daily mile. This made me feel great and I was even more thankful that I had my treadmill and didn’t just not do it.
Why do I walk? Why do I run? I’ve mentioned many times that it is as much for my mental health as it is my physical health. These are the reasons why:
- It’s MY time and I am doing something for myself
- It’s the only time I can find the “OFF” switch to my brain. I am a worrier and I am constantly thinking about everything. It is very rare that I am able to shut off my thinking and just not worry. Except when I am out there walking or running. The “OFF” switch works perfectly then.
- I love the fresh air (another reason I prefer outside over the treadmill).
- It’s cheaper than therapy.
I am on a nice little high right now after running so far today. I am already thinking about tomorrow, hoping the rain is over by the afternoon so I can get out there and do exactly what I did on the treadmill today.
One of the blogs I follow is Bee Fit, written by an amazing gal named Colleen. She started her weight loss journey at 272 pounds and joined WW on Feb. 24, 2010 weighing 252.6 pounds. This past June, she made her goal at WW, losing 102 pounds. Her weight loss is AMAZING and her progress photos really show the hard work she has done to get to this point.
But what I love most about her story is her determination. When she reached her 220′s, she started jogging. She ran her first 5k in September 2010. Since then she has completed several half marathons and many more 5ks. This is incredible to me. You read so many stories of people who say “when I reach my goal and lose all the weight, I’m going to run a half marathon”. Not Colleen. She didn’t wait. And I love that. And she’s not stopping anytime soon. She just completed another half marathon over the weekend and is training for her first full marathon in November.
The reason I’m telling you about Colleen today, besides the fact that you should all go visit her blog and read for yourself how incredible she is, is to tell you that she inspired me to do something. I read today’s blog post while I was eating my lunch. It was about the half marathon she completed this weekend AND set a new personal record for herself. Pretty amazing, huh?
A couple hours later, I read it again. I kept thinking about how incredible I feel to go out and walk 3, 4, 5, even 10 or 11 miles. And then I wondered how incredible she must feel about herself with all she has accomplished. To run a 5k would be a huge thing for me. To run a half marathon? Well, that almost seems out of reach for me but it is something I would love to do and it’s a dream I have.
So I was driving home from work, trying to beat the rain clouds so I could get to the park and log my 3.11 miles for the day. On a normal day, I will alternate walking and running - mostly walking with probably a third of it running throughout. A little bit here, a little bit there. I tend to run more near the end as I am trying to make the most of my time, always trying to beat my best time.
Today I decided I was going to run 1 mile – all at once. Colleen’s ability to go out and run a half marathon and train for a full marathon inspired me to run the first mile, just to see if I could do it. And I did. It took me 12:02. Not a fast mile by any stretch, but one that was comfortable for me. I DID IT. It felt great and kept me going for the rest of my walk, during which I did more running. As always, I am thankful for my strong legs that allow me to run and push myself.
Another exciting tidbit to mention… I have a new personal best for my 5k – 40:48, beating my previous best by 17 seconds. I am SO competitive with myself.
Now, I know I can run a mile. I’ll work on that for a bit and then I’ll try 2 miles. And one day you’ll read about me running a 5K. Maybe I’ll inspire others the way Colleen has inspired me.
Don’t forget to check out Colleen’s blog Bee Fit . You WILL be inspired.